Breast Feeding
Mon, 07/07/2008 - 21:54
I am a mother of a happy, healthy two year old son. And yet I still feel that in a way I have failed him. All because I was unable to breastfeed him.
With all the advertising on breast feeding, I was more than aware how important it is to be able to breastfeed. However, this is a long cry of my experience in the hospital.
After a 28 hour labour, I was handed a wrinkly mini-me! I was handed him straight away and after 5 minutes was told that it was a good time to try to feed him. I tried 3 times myself but my baby would not latch on. I think I must have been holding him wrong or something because it felt very awkward. Milk was oozing out. I asked for help. A nurse plonked my babys face next to my breast impatiently. After no more than a minute, she took my baby and said he needed a bottle. And with that, she turned and left the room. I was left dumbfounded and shattered. I always believed a newborn baby would latch on when hungry and to be given a bottle of formula to a newborn was a last resort.
My two stay in hospital was frustrating as I tried and tried to get my baby to latch on. A nurse walked in and commented how nice it was to see a mother still trying to breastfeed, despite problems. I asked for her help/guidance. She hastily told me to perservere and left the room. I was reasured through the media and the medical profession that breast is best and that mothers are offered encouragement to breastfeed? I am left torn, knowing I was unable to learn the skill alone and knowing the support thats ment to be there, totally left me out. I'm feeling hurt and angered. The hospital midwife and health visitor had me noted as a natural mum. Yeah, so natural I couldnt even feed my baby as nature intended. Did any other mums experience similar situations? Are they now left as hurt as me when they come accross "breast is best" adverts? Do articles trying to encourage mums to breastfeed really pull at the heartstrings. I know I've not cried my last tear over it yet.
As for the age old arguement, should women breastfeed in public? Of dourse they should. Its the most natural thing in the world. We dont go out for a drive in the country to come across a cow and its calf succling, to ask it to cover up!
Tue, 08/07/2008 - 11:06
#1
I feel so sorry for you that
I feel so sorry for you that you had this experience, i had a vey traumatic delivery of my first child which resulted in an emergency c section but still five mins later the nurse plonked my little girl on my stomach to breast feed, i was in agony with my scar i was lucky she did latch on straight away and i breast fed her for the first four months til she went onto solids. however my second baby who had to also be delivered by c section same medical prob, i only breast fed for three weeks because she was so hungry i ran out of milk and my nipples were so sore they cracked and it was hell so i did feel defeated but releved to resort to bottle. The nurses were very abrupt in hospital and never had the time to show you how and what to do and they think just because you have one child already that you will know what to do with this one, but every baby is different some latch on straight away and some dont. And if the baby doesnt and there is no nurse there to help the baby can just be sucking air and end up with colic, and the more distressed the baby gets the more you get upset and the baby senses that and you feel you have failed. You havent failed because bottle or breast you are nurishing your child which IS what comes natrually to a mum so dont beat yourself up you sound like an excellent mumXXXX
Mon, 14/07/2008 - 23:43
#2
It's not your fault.
When i gave birth to my first son nearly nine years ago, he took to breastfeeding straight away which was great, However when i gave birth to my second son nearly a year ago he was premature and we both had to be rushed to hospital, i was in alot of spinal pain as i had a slipped disc in my lower back and it was decided that i needed very strong painkillers which not only prevented me from breastfeeding my baby but also dried up any milk i had. What i have noticed between both times is that whenever i took my first child to any appointments being doctors or healthvistors i was hardly ever asked "are you breastfeeding your baby" BUT this time around i have been asked on every single appointment with my second child "and are you breastfeeding?" the minute i've said no i am given alook that makes me feel so guilty that i feel that i have to explain why. Do vet's and zoos look at their animals that have just given birth and unable to look after their offspring in the same manner..... NO they don't they step in straight away and bottle feed the baby animal to save it's life. So why are we treated so differently? I would like to add that BOTH my children are happy healthy contented children.
Wed, 20/05/2009 - 04:59
#3
breastfeeding pressure
I'm a mother of two young healthy children, and when my oldest son was born i wanted to breastfeed so much because of the benifits and i must admit some pressure but upon me to do so. I tried but he never seemed satisfied complety, so i kept trying until in the end i dried up. he was 6 months old when that happened. I sought advice from my midwife who claimed it was all my fault, then I sought advice from my grandmother and my mother whom both said it had happened to them also. Then my daughter was born three years later, again i tried to breastfeed, I dried up again when she was 6 months old. But before then I had already begun to see the signs and started to mix bottle and breast so that she could get both untill the inevitable happened and I dried up completley. My midwife was none to pleased and said I must not have been doing it correctly even though I knew I had and even went to breastfeeding groups etc. It's just the way my body works. There is way to much pressure put upon new mums to breastfeed even though it is not suitable for everyone. We all have different bodies that work in different ways, and formula milk has advanced so much in recent years that it is so close to breast milk and provides baby with all they need to develop into healthy happy babies. My children were more content when i gave them bottle and i do not regret doing so. I did try but in the end bottle was best.... if i could turn back time i would not have tried breast. My children were not gaining the weight needed and neither i nor my children were happy for those six months.
Fri, 08/01/2010 - 00:13
#4
Too much presure and not enough help
Hi all. My little girl was premature by 7 weeks, they had to take my girl to the nnu though first I had a cuddle so I wasnt encouge then to breastfeed which I was glad because after 20 hour labour I was knackered and I fell asleep on the labour bed and my partner was asleep on the sofa lol
It was amazing for me to be able to breast feed a few times because I didnt think I could do it with some problems this was 2-3 weeks later with expressing which was painfull. I did not like much of the food in the hospital so I did not eat as much as I should of done. I was lost weight for a mum thats breast feeding there so limited for food which anoyied me and sometimes they had more food then other days, it was cold outside and D and V virus was about so my partner wasnt allowed in for awhile so I couldnt have more food I would eat.
I have learning diffculties so I kepted asking for help which I think they were getting anoyied with sometimes. In the night time I got so emontial because I couldnt latch my girl on and the nurse was gone and I couldnt shout for help either of being in a different room from where they are. My girl is so happy even though shes on the bottle.
Mon, 01/02/2010 - 21:50
#5
breastfeeding
Hi all, I had my little girl 3 and a halve years ago,I was so sure i was going to breastfeed, i even went to those workshops to find out more. She was born 3 weeks early and i tried to breastfeed but she wouldnt latch on at all, i got upset about it in the hospital and thought she was going to starve, i felt so guilty that it wasnt happening for me then see other mums doing it straight away.I was in there for 3 days to try to feed her. I felt very pressured by the midwives to breastfeed, one of them even tried to express some milk out of me and kept pinching me, i had enough at this point and said i want my baby on the bottle and i wanted to go home,then they got a breastfeeding specialist in to try talk me out of it, in the end they gave me a little bottle with a long teat on it,and some milk, she guzzled the whole lot in less than a minute, so she made my mind up for me. im now having another baby and going straight to bottle with no hesitation,my little girl is very happy and healthy,and i feel the best desicion was made.
Wed, 03/03/2010 - 09:15
#6
Breastfeeding
It's such a shame that women aren't given the help that they need when learning to breastfeed - and remember, it IS something you and the baby LEARN. I was lucky with my first son. He took to breast feeding immediately, but my second son didn't. I was fortunate enough to have a fabulous midwife who visited me at home daily until breastfeeding was established, but a few days later, we ran into problems again. My health visitor is useless. When I told her we were having problems she said, "do you WANT to breastfeed?!", which I thought was a pretty stupid question! She watched me feed my son for a minute then said, "just keep persevering" (eh, what did she think I'd been doing?), "and if it doesn't work out, then just go on to bottles". And that was the sum total of the 'help' I got from her...
He's now 9 weeks old and feeding well - no thanks to the health visitor!
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